A little motivation

This is the song I have been listening to, to get me motivated!! LOVE IT!!

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!!!

I cant believe we are actually leaving for Vegas tomorrow morning. We have been thinking about this since August and now here we are! I'm just gonna start rambling on about what I'm thinking, so it might be a little all over the place :)
I'm a little nervous about the race, i have been slipping a little bit in the training department :/ I have heard though that there is so many distractions there that get you pumped up and you continue on. I have been watching the videos on YouTube and cant believe I am going to get to experience it too! I'm so ready for it all!!
Thank you to everyone that donated and helped us out with our fundraising. We truly appreciated it!
I almost teared up last night as I was thinking about putting Trav and Kristi's name on my singlet. Its an honor to do this for so many people. I hope I can do this again, its just an amazing feeling!
We finally get to meet our teammates from Minn.! We have been emailing them since Aug and now we get to meet them face to face, so we are both pretty excited about that. We are all going zip lining Friday night as a team!! Whoop! Whoop!

We will be blogging again tomorrow to update you all and maybe throughout the wknd. I hope we can get some good pictures to share with you all. I'm having a hard time finding room in my suitcase for a camera
Maybe on Sunday you can all say a little prayer in hopes that Kristi is feeling well enough to run 13.1 miles.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! Wish us luck!!!!!

4 days and counting!

4 DAYS AND COUNTING.......LET ME JUST SAY I AM SO EXCITED AND I JUST CAN'T HIDE IT...I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I THINK LIKE IT!  Ok thats enough singing :) 

 

I am really praying that this is a fresh new week for me and going to Las Vegas will be just what I need to get over this slump I am in.  After this great 4 day holiday weekend, I had time to realize how thankful I am for everything around me and how I can't give up on myself because all of those "things" need me and of course I need them. God is just testing my skills and I'm hoping this is his hardest test yet, it can only get easier right?! 

Right now, our biggest dilemma is what are we going to pack?  I think Dani and myself have been going back and forth about what to pack, what are we going to do, how cold is it, tennis shoes and then some, etc...We just can't figure it out!  We will and I know we will look cute the entire time even if its jeans, a jacket and tennis shoes :) 

I have so many mixed emotions currently about this trip that I can't even describe how I am feeling right now.  My stomach is mixed with butterflies, anxiety, and excitment just because I have NO CLUE what we are going to experience.  It can only be awesome I'm sure and I can't wait to tell you all about it! 

10 medications...REALLY!

Well as I told all of you, I met a new GI doctor last Wednesday and have experienced some rapid changes in the past 5 days for both good and bad.  I really really liked her and I think God must have had a reason for pushing me to make that call because she really worked me over to say the least.  I have not been feeling well for the past couple of weeks and have been struggling with that because you know we leave for Las Vegas in 11 days and I can't be down in the dumps for that!  But I have a feeling I'm going to have to take it easy which is ok because I have an extremely supportive friend who will understand when we can't stay out til 2am :) 

So my new GI doctor visited with me about my medications and 14 year history and provided me all sorts of tasks I needed to do in the next couple of days.  All before Vegas!
1. 14 tubes of Labwork...Yes I wrote 14 tubes...I really thought I was going to not have any blood left when she was done
2. A DEXA scan (aka. the old lady bone scan)
3. A colonoscopy in 2 days! Yes too much information already :)
4. A new powder packet to take daily

AND THE RESULTS....
1. Vitamin D level is low (1 medication weekly), iron is low (Vitron C daily) calcium is low (Calcium twice daily), continue multivitamin, OH and my quantiferon (aka TB skin test) was positive which means I have tuberculosis!  Now that was devastating to me...Tuberculosis!  Are you kidding me?!  Well it is latent, so don't worry you can be around me but it was most likely developed from me taking Humira injections which was suppose to be helping my Crohns...Instead it gives me TB!  So now I have to take 2 different medications for 9 months straight and I should be ok.  I guess I have taken ok lightly..
2. Don't know these results yet
3.  Yes it gets worse....My scope was not good.  I have another stricture/narrowing where my last 2 prior bowel obstruction surgeries. :( So my Crohn's is active which is not good for me as we prepare for running 13.1 miles!  She was unable to get her scope thru that narrowing so now I have to drink barium for a MRI to view my small intestine to make sure their is not active Crohn's up there.  She also took some biopsies on areas of interest so we are waiting for those results!

So let's just say in a nut shell...I'm a MESS!  I'm still angry at it but I'm hoping that I can change my focus and look at the positive of this.  God only gives you what you can handle right!  So please keep praying for me as I know you all are!

I wish you only knew.....

Sorry we haven’t wrote anything in a couple of weeks when we were suppose to be blogging for 30 days….Lets just say I haven’t felt the best and life is super crazy as you all know.  We are 14 days away from leaving for Las Vegas and experiencing something that is going to be life changing and I am having a Debby Downer moment!  I currently HATE HATE HATE my Crohn’s and I’m struggling to even type this.  I found this amazing blog a while back called Forward is a pace and she named her intestines and when she was having a rough day she would write to her intestine because it helped relieve what she was feeling…Well I’m going to try that and see if it helps! 

 

I asked the kids what I should name my Crohn’s/intestines and Lily just looked at me weird.  10 minutes later she comes back to me and states “Monster” because it is so mean to you and I am scared of it L  So my intestines are now named Monster.

 

Dear Monster,

I hate what you do to me and to my mind.  You have made my life a living hell the past 2 weeks and it sounds like you are only to get worse and I cannot stand to even think about it.  It drives me insane that I look “fine” on the outside when I have so much pain on the inside.  I always wonder what it would be like to just feel good for once but I honestly don’t remember what that would even feel like.  When people ask me how does it feel, I want to ask how does it feel to feel normal?  I have had 4 stupid surgeries because of you and probably have another one soon on the horizon because you are rearing your ugly head.  WHY do you have to be closing again in the same spot that I had my last 2 surgeries on?  Don’t you understand that my life is to busy to be out for weeks on end….I have 3 kids that need me and a job I love to do.  I don’t feel like its fair that this a continuous battle because I am at my breaking point and ready to give up on you and quit fighting so hard.  Maybe you are doing this right now because you know that I will get another look at things when I am with the Team Challenge crew…I hope my thought is right on that because I need a positive right now!

 

I am so grateful for my parents and all the love and support they have given me especially over the past couple of days.  I know they love me dearly and are scared at the same time but put a smile on their face so I don’t think they are worried.  Its ok to be worried? Because I am extremely worried.  I’m so scared that some day I’m going to not be able to take care of my kids and that just tears me to pieces.  They are the reason I get up everyday yet lately I have not been the mom they probably want.  My mind is 5 million other places than at home with them.

 

Some days I’m surprised Brian listens to me complain about my pain but I think it has become 2^nd nature after 10 years of being together.  However I feel extremely guilty for not being the “normal & healthy” wife that most husbands get to have.  I am the sickly one that is in constant pain, with all sorts of mood changes, tired all the time, have to stop at every store to use the bathroom , and can’t understand why GOD choose me.  I do know that there are days he runs from what he is feeling especially when I’m not feeling well and try’s to avoid discussing it which is ok.  I’m just glad that he has been there for me during my hospitalizations and will take care of the kids when I’m not well.  I don’t know another man that would sit in the bathroom with me and have a conversation.

 

Lets just say Monster you are pissing me off and this is the week that I am suppose to be thankful for what I have.  Well I am extremely thankful for who and what I have around me but not what I have inside me.  I feel like I could type forever about all the negative feelings I currently have but I don’t want to let that occupy me.  Lets hope that over the next couple of days I can gain some positive feelings and I promise I will share them with you!

 

 

I stole this picture shamelessly from Lauren's blog...

 

If you have a minute, check out Lauren's blog...She says it exactly how I feel.

http://www.forwardisapace.com/2012/06/what-i-wish-you-knew/

Telling everything....

So it's Day 4 on our blog posts and we already missed Day 3.  Oopss!  You will just get a 2 for 1...people like those right? 

Day 3:  "I don't know about this, but I would like to".......
Those 10 words have rang true to me just this last week as I have re-evaluated my health and realized I really would like a second opinion on what is right for me.  I'm only 28 years old and hopefully have a whole world ahead of me, I would like to at least feel well 50% of the time.  However, when I think about getting a 2nd opinion, I feel like I am having an affair on my Gastro doctor of 10 years...Is that weird?  Probably, yes because it is my health and my life!  So I did schedule an appointment with a new GI doctor in 2 weeks from now (she's younger and I'm hoping full of new ideas/thoughts) that maybe will work better for me.  And who know's I might still go back to my same GI I have had for 10 years but why not "test the water" for a different feel. I'm crossing my fingers and hope that by me having this "medical affair" it's well worth it!



Day 4: How did you decide what to share?  What do/don't you share?

This sharing idea is a brand new concept to me as I have never talked about my disease so openly before.  Yet the second Dani and myself signed up for Team Challenge there was no turning back when talking about my Crohn's.  I have decided to openly share everything about this "invisible" illness I have except some minor details that many of you will be glad I don't share.  Today is not the best day for me but I will only write positive things as I don't want the negative side of my illness to overcome the positives in my life.  You know that your kids really listen to you when last night when deciding what we wanted for supper I asked Lucas what he would like... He states "Mom lets have pizza for supper because you can go to the bathroom at home!"  He does really listen to me! 

I am so thankful for my amazing 3 children.  They are so intelligent and understand when I don't feel good that we won't be accomplishing much that day but they also make me feel better at the same time.  Lily is my go to girl as she knows as much as I do where each bathroom is in every store/building that we enter.  She knows that sometimes in the middle of shopping we will have to leave the cart where it is and make a mad dash for the restroom.  Its priceless for me when I have all 3 kids in the stall and pray they don't say anything about the smell or what are you doing mom!  Yet I wouldn't change it for the world and I just hope that somebody they know I try my best even when I don't feel like my body can try any harder. 



This card most definetly pertains to you Dani!  You know all to much about me and I wouldn't change any minute of it.  Thank you! 

big Whoops

So I fudged up a little bit. I thought this 30 day post thing was just something Kristi came up with and I could make up my own post.......not the case!!
So here is the REAL Day 2...Find a Quote and Use it As Inspiration

Funny that I got this one, cause I was just on pinterest looking at inspirational quotes. I found one I liked alot and I think a lot of people can relate to this one.

p.s. sorry Kristi I screwed up the post, please forgive me :)

Post 2 of 30 day of Health

Ok, I will give this a shot. It probably wont be very interesting or informative but what the "h", right?

So Kristi has been FREAKING out on what to eat the day before and the day of Race Day (honestly, I dont blame her) :) Anywho, I did some research for her and here are some things I found for you!

Stick to bland diet, rice, pasta, bananas, oatmeal. Also include some protien...peanut butter, fish, ect.
Try to avoid high fiber foods that will cause gas or bloating.

The day before the race try and spread your calories throughout the day, so your eating something every two to three hours. Most of your calories come from carbs, so boost up on those and stay away from JUNK FOOD!!! I know we will be in Vegas, but you must stay away from the candy shops!!!

You should go ahead a try your race diet now to see if those food will effect you in a not so good kind of way :S Also start drinking lots of water now.

Here are few helpful points I found........

In the days leading up to the race, you’ll be tapering your training, but keep eating the same amount of carbohydrates or slightly more, so that your body will store them. Don’t wait until the night before to carbo-load!

You’re better off eating lots of carbs at lunch the day before a race than at dinner. 

In the two to four hours before your race, fill up on protein and simple carbohydrates and drink lots of water or sports drink. The more time until the race, the larger your meal should be. Avoid fiber and fats, since they can cause digestion issues. Don’t try anything new on race day!

Some good pre-race foods: bread, bagel, cereal, fruit, peanut or almond butter (not too much though). The more liquid and easier-to-digest these foods are, the better.

In the hour before the race, don’t eat very much. Some water, sports drink, or energy gels are good now. I don’t even drink much water at this stage, to avoid having to use the bathroom during the race.

During a race, you need 30-60 grams of carbs per hour and about a cup of water every fifteen minutes. Avoid dangerous overhydration (hyponatremia) by drinking sports drinks with sodium and/or additional sodium supplementation. One sign of overhydration is bloating, noticable as swelling around rings, watches, socks, etc.

Hope that helps you and makes you feel better............
Was that a "healthy" blog post??? Or do I need to start discussing GMO's and stuff............

30 Day Challenge

Today is the first day of National Health Blog Post month!  We are suppose to post everyday, so lets see if we can accomplish 30 days of posts since Nov 30th we leave for our run in VEGAS! 



Today I am suppose to tell you why I write about my health.  Well, were do I begin. If you would have asked me 6 months ago about my Crohn's I would have told you the bare minimum, now I will just tell you more than you probably want to know!  I find that typing how I feel is a stress reliever in some way and it allows me to share emotions that I might not share with you in person. 

When I was diagnosed at 14 years old I was so embarassed and couldn't believe what was happening to my body.  I mean seriously, I was as pale as a ghost, weighed 72 pounds and pooped all the time.  What if I had to poop at my friend's house or even a boyfriends house??  Well I soon got over that because I realized that they didn't care or at least they didn't say anything!  And that was just the beginning of my journey.  So I write about my disease because I can and because maybe one simple statement that I say will impact you for the day or maybe make your week. I have found that small statements carry the biggest impact. 

Crohn's is an invisible disease as many call it and if you google it there is not a lot our there about how actual "Crohnies" feel or what works for them.  Well this is a chance for me to do that.  And of course have amazing support along the way.  I found this awesome blog www.forwardisapace.com ; she is an inspiration and I have yet to meet her!  Can't wait though as she is coming to Vegas for Team Challenge. 

So I promise not every blog I will talk about my Crohn's.  Dani will always add another great perspective on things I promise! 

OH...By the way, I went to my first Crohn's support group tonight with Brian. Well lets just say it was me, Brian, and 2 old men!  AWKWARD!!  Yet I can say that I will go back next month because I realized they need a "younger" figure in those groups so I can open my big mouth and spread the word about Crohn's local.  Just think, someday, I could be on TV like Pearl Jams Mike McCready or the New England Patriots retiree.  Don't keep your fingers cross =)